Monday, June 30, 2008

The Fisherman

2 comments:
The American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large Yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while.

Sunday, June 29, 2008

The Aliens

3 comments:
Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near an abandoned gas station.

They approached the gas pumps and one of them said to it "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader."

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Made in Japan...

1 comment:
There was a Japanese man who went to America for sightseeing. On the last day, he hailed a cab and told the driver to drive to the airport. During the journey, a Honda drove past the taxi. Thereupon, the man leaned out of the window excitedly and yelled, "Honda, very fast! Made in Japan!"

Friday, June 27, 2008

Little Johnny

No comments:
The teacher was telling her 4th grade class about today's lesson.

"I'll say a letter of the alphabet and you give me a word that starts with that letter. Let's begin. A"

All the children raise their hands, but little Johnny was almost coming out of his seat trying to get picked. The teacher knew Johnny had a filthy mouth and thought to herself that if she picked Johnny, he would give her a word like 'ass' or 'asshole'. She picked Wendy, and Wendy said "apple".

Thursday, June 26, 2008

The Nap

No comments:
An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard; I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

The Tall Texan

No comments:
The tall Texan was a legend in his youth. Football was his game, and he could cover one end of the gridiron to the other faster than a rabbit can multiply. Crater Legs he was known as, Crater Legs McVee. A freak accident ended any chance of a pro football career, and it left him with a permanent limp. The town kids would tease him and call him Step-and-a-half, but after time, he just became known as Step.

Bobby Lee Walton

No comments:
A zoo in Arkansas obtained a very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle. Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the problem.

The gorilla was in heat. To make matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Perfect Mate

No comments:
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich, 'What's yours?' 'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Lipstick on the Mirror

No comments:
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem.

A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

The Story Game

No comments:
It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm working as port captain of our yacht club. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Comment Game

No comments:
I'm off to the boat for a long weekend and wanted to have something for you to do if you dropped by. What's better than getting to play the comment game? So play nice and I'll see you Sunday.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why. When you have done that you do two new words or phrases for the next commenter to choose from. Feel free to come back as often as you like. Just have fun. If someone derails the game will one of you put it back on track? Thanks.

First comment: Beef Ribs or Pork Ribs?

Monday, June 16, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Anniversary Gift

1 comment:
A young man wanted to get his beautiful blond wife, Susie, something nice for their 1st wedding anniversary. So he decided to buy her a cell phone. He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Running Buffalo and Falling Rocks

No comments:
The old Indian chief called for the two bravest warriors in the tribe.

"Running Buffalo, Falling Rocks, you go and seek buffalo skins. Whichever of you returns with the most skins will become my right hand man and will be the next chief."

Friday, June 13, 2008

Mountain Man Advice

No comments:
Advice From an Old Tennessee Mountain Man

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

Words that soak into your ears are whispered... not yelled.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

The Moment of Truth

No comments:
Star 8278 of Life's A Dance You Learn As You Go... tagged me for The Moment of Truth meme. I really like this one so a great big thank you. The originator of this meme is Winklekat of Sojourn.

Here it goes:

The Beautiful Princess

No comments:
Once upon a time, there was a prince who, through no fault of his own was cast under a spell by an evil witch. The curse was that the prince could only speak one word each year. However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, the following year he was allowed to speak two words. This spell allowed no other form of communication.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Things Got Ya Down?

No comments:
Well Then, Consider These...

In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical condition.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Texas Rancher

No comments:
A Department of Agriculture representative stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked with an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for your water allocation".

The old rancher said, "Okay, but don't go in that field over there".

Monday, June 9, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Test Your Math

No comments:
There is a bus with 7 girls
Each girl carries 7 bags
Inside each bag there is 7 cats
Every cat has 7 kittens
All cats have 4 legs each

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Psychic Dog or Senile Lady?

No comments:
A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions, when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile lady. He climbed a telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone began to ring.

Friday, June 6, 2008

The Bull Elephant

No comments:
In 1986, Dan Harrison was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Dan approached it very carefully.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

When You Thought...

No comments:
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

The gynecologist

No comments:
A gynecologist who had lost interest in his medical practice decided to change careers and enrolled in auto mechanic school. He performed well in the course but was still shocked when he got an off-the-chart 200 on his final exam. He asked the instructor to explain the grade.

Monday, June 2, 2008

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Give Me Five

No comments:
The 'Give Me Five' Monday meme is designed to share fun information with each other in a simple short list! Here's how it works. Each week, I will put out a random topic from my list of topics and you share 5 answers of your choice on the given topic and link back here!

Sunday, June 1, 2008

Kids Logic

No comments:
A number of primary schools were doing a project on "The Sea." Kids were asked to draw pictures or write about their experiences. Teachers got together to compare the results and put together some of the 'better' ones.

1. This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)