Saturday, January 31, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

3 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Fortune Teller

20 comments:
A nun is waiting for her flight. She looked over in the corner and saw one of those weight machines that tells your fortune. So, she thought to herself "I'll give it a try just to see what it tells me." She went over to the machine and put her nickel in, and out came a card that said, "You're a nun you weigh 128 lbs and you are going to Chicago."

Happy 50th Gene

6 comments:
Gene Bach of Turning The Pages Of Life is 50 today.

Have some cake and go over and wish him a very happy birthday.

Tell him I sent you.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Nurse Nancy

27 comments:
Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.

They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.

Nurse Nancy

25 comments:
Two doctors in practice in a small country clinic had to hire a new nurse when the one they had won the lottery and quit.

They interviewed Nurse Nancy and decided to hire her. She had only worked two days when one doctor called the other to his office and said that they would have to let Nurse Nancy go.

"Why, we just hired her?"

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Pronto

15 comments:
January 30, 2009 - This post is a hoax and I fell for it. Just ignore it and hope that the person that keeps this thing going gets the mental health medication they so desperately need. Here's the link to Snopes: Abandoned Puppies

A Scam

15 comments:
January 30, 2009 - This post is a hoax and I fell for it. Just ignore it and hope that the person that keeps this thing going gets the mental health medication they so desperately need. Here's the link to Snopes: Abandoned Puppies

I have a friend that sent me the following email. If anyone is interested and live in the central valley of California let me know. I can lay in a phone call very quickly.

A Dentist

32 comments:
A guy and a girl met at a bar. They started getting along really well they decide to go to the girl's place for a drink.

A few drinks later, the guy took off his shirt and washed his hands. He then took off his socks and washed his hands. The girl was observing this and says, "You must be a dentist!"

Flabbergasted the guy responded, "Yes. That's amazing how did you figure that out?"

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Speech Therapy...

34 comments:
A very pretty young speech therapist was getting nowhere with her Stammerers Action group. She had tried every technique in the book without the slightest success. Finally, thoroughly exasperated she said, "If any of you can tell me the name of the town where you were born, without stuttering, I will have wild and passionate sex with you until your muscles ache and your eyes water."

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

A Rescue

40 comments:
Her eyes met mine as she walked down the corridor peering apprehensively into the kennels. I felt her need instantly and knew I had to help her.

I wagged my tail, not too exuberantly, so she wouldn't be afraid. As she stopped at my kennel I blocked her view from a little accident I had in the back of my cage. I didn't want her to know that I hadn't been walked today. Sometimes the shelter keepers get too busy and I didn't want her to think poorly of them. As she read my kennel card I hoped that she wouldn't feel sad about my past. I only have the future to look forward to and want to make a difference in someone's life.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Awww...Mondays

27 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Cool Awards

11 comments:
Kat of Candles, Crafts and Whatnot has given me two great awards. Thank you so very, very much.

The first on is the Friendship Award and the second is the Inspiring Blogger award.

Homework

30 comments:
A first grade girl handed in the drawing below for a homework assignment.

After it was graded and the child brought it home, she returned to school the next day with the following note:

Dear Ms. Davis,

Saturday, January 24, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

3 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

The Governor's Fence

29 comments:
Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the Governor's Mansion in Springfield, Illinois; One from Chicago, another from Tennessee, & a third from Kentucky.

They all go out to examine the fence. The Tennessee contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some figures with a pencil. "Well", he says, "I figure the job will run about $900: $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me."

Friday, January 23, 2009

The Baptism

32 comments:
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them.

They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School. So they went to the nearest Church. But, only the Janitor was there.

One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one will come out and play with us. Will you baptize us?"

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Ponzi Scam

26 comments:
A Ponzi scheme is a fraudulent investment operation that pays returns to its investors from their own money or the money paid by subsequent investors, rather than from profit earned by the individual or organization running the operation. Many operators of Ponzi schemes usually entice new investors by offering higher returns than other investments, in the form of short-term returns that are either abnormally high or unusually consistent. The perpetuation of the high returns requires an ever-increasing flow of money from new investors to sustain the scheme. Source: Wikipedia

Happy Birthday Mike

16 comments:
Today Mike of Rambling Stuff is having a Birthday. So please go over and wish Mike a very Happy Birthday. He also made some life decisions concerning blogging. He deleted his Twitter account and today is his last day with Entrecard. He planned his departure from Entracard to coincide with his birthday. I think that's a spectacular idea. I also applaud Mike for doing what is best for his health. I've noticed that Entrecard takes a lot of time each day. I'm guessing I will either modify or give up Entrecard at some point.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

More Awards

10 comments:
Liza of Mommy's Little Corner had a Awards Galore!!! and she included me. Thank you so very much.

We had the choice of taking all of the awards or just the ones we wanted or didn't have.

 I decided to take the two that I don't have. Here's the two I chose:

Geography 101

33 comments:
THE GEOGRAPHY OF A WOMAN

Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa, half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally beautiful!

Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe, well developed and open to trade, especially for someone with cash.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Hoya! Hoya! Hoya!

22 comments:
It was election time and the politician decided to go out to the local reservation and try to get the Native American vote. They were all assembled in the Council Hall to hear the speech. The politician had worked up to his finale, and the crowd was getting more and more excited. "I promise better education opportunities for Native Americans!"

Monday, January 19, 2009

Awww...Mondays

25 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

What's Your Word?

26 comments:
Your Word is "Fearless"

You see life as your one chance to experience everything, and you just go for it!

You believe the biggest risk is being afraid and missing out on something amazing.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Darwin Awards

22 comments:
2008 Darwin Awards

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here are the glorious top 10 winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

8 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Comment Game

45 comments:
It's time to play the comment game again. I'm taking a bit of a rest and wanted you to have something constructive to do if you dropped by. I may be boating, or I may be napping. Just have fun and play nicely with each other.

Here's how it goes: I'll start the game off at the bottom of this post by choosing two words or phrases, like coffee or tea, and which ever one you prefer you choose. You can also explain why.

Friday, January 16, 2009

I'm a Winner...

17 comments:
Henson Ray of Henson's Hell held a contest and I was one of the three lucky winners. Woo Hoo! If you enjoy top quality kitty videos you will love his videos. You will fall in love with the characters. Here's Henson's notifying post:

I am please to announce the three lucky winners for my latest contest. They will each receive a Wizardofwit t-shirt and a copy of the "Cat Clips DVD, Volume One."

Financial Planning

26 comments:
Dan was a single guy living at home with his father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a wife with which to share his fortune.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Awards Bonanza

4 comments:
Have you ever been awarded a ton of awards for being a top dropper? Well, Blanne of Hit or Miss had a Scent-sational Hit-or-Miss Awards Bonanza! The cool part is you can pick and choose what awards you want. It's a cool way to say thank you to your top commenters and your top droppers.

Thank you so very much Blanne. Here's the awards I chose:

A Cows Tail

25 comments:
A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally, the doctor asked him, 'What happened to YOU?'

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

The Bartender

17 comments:
The new bartender was tall and handsome, but there was something very mysterious about him too. Many times I saw him watching her out of the corner of his eye as she bent over the fire. "What are you doing?" he asked.

She appeared out of sorts. "My boyfriend left me and I'm debating jumping in the fire."

Top 10 U.N. Slogans

33 comments:
10. If an impotent, bloated bureaucracy can't solve it, it's best left festering.

09. You can't spell "UNethical" without U.N.

08. Genocidal dictators, BEWARE our non-binding resolutions.

07. Bringing peace to our World (Actual results may vary).

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Operation...

23 comments:
A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation. She's laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her. The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theater, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.

A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body. He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat.

Monday, January 12, 2009

The Jogger

35 comments:
I love stealing jokes and Vodka Mom of I Need a Martini Mom wanted me to see a joke that Jeanne of The Raisin Chronicles posted on her blog titled Old Joke #3. Enjoy...

A guy is out jogging very early one morning when he realizes he has to take a dump. He looks around for a public building, or a gas station, but he’s in a residential neighborhood. He runs for a few more minutes, but the urge just grows stronger. Then he spots a thick cluster of bushes. He considers running on past, but the need is just too great. Stepping behind the shrubbery, he shucks down his shorts and squats.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

13 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Story Game

42 comments:
It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm slaving away putting together a yacht club dinner. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. Next week I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want and the game will run all weekend. Thanks for playing along.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Naked Firemen

30 comments:
Firefighters are rescuers extensively trained in firefighting, primarily to extinguish hazardous fires that threaten property and civilian or natural populations and to rescue people from dangerous situations, like collapsed or burning buildings
The complexity of modern industrialized life with a greater prominence of hazards has created an increase in the skills needed in firefighting technology and a broadening of the firefighter-rescuer's remit. They sometimes provide emergency medical services, for example.  Source: Wikipedia

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Awards

8 comments:
Babs of Beetle's Memories 'n' Ramblings awarded me with the Fabulous Blog award.

Thank you so very much. Big hug.

Here are the rules:

De Bayou

22 comments:
Boudreaux live across de bayou from Clarence who he don like no way at all. Dey all de time yell & cuss across de bayou at eachudder.

Boudreaux's a yellin to Clarence, "You ol' mudbug! If I had me a way to cross dis bayou, I'd come over dere an beat up on you good, yeah!"

Dis went on for years.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

True Friends

36 comments:
Friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an association. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. Various academic theories of friendship have been proposed, including social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles. A World Happiness Database study found that people with close friendships are happier. Source: Wikipedia

Monday, January 5, 2009

History.

32 comments:
In a few short days, an African American man will move from his private residence into a much larger and infinitely more expensive one owned not by him but by the taxpayers. A vast lawn, a perimeter fence and many well trained security specialists will insulate him from the rest of us but the mere fact that this man will be residing in this house should make us all stop and count or blessings - because it proves that we live in a nation where anything is possible.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Once Upon a Time...

29 comments:
Phil of Phil's Phun posted this joke in honor of me: for my good friend Sandee @ Comedy Plus so I'm posting this over here too. Thanks Phil.

Once upon a time there was a famous sea captain. This captain was very successful at guiding merchant ships all over the world. Never did stormy seas or pirates get the best of him. He was admired by his crew and fellow captains. However, there was one thing different about this captain.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

5 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Van Gogh Award

8 comments:
Roger DMan of Idaho Photo gave me the Van Gogh's Ear award. Thank you so very much Roger. You are the greatest. Big hug. Here's what Roger said about this award:

A Top Award for You

Mouse Calibration

34 comments:
You should actually do this every year. Even more often is recommended by Kim Kommando (the computer guru) if you spend a lot of time on the computer.

I was shocked to see how well this works, and how far off mine was!

Friday, January 2, 2009

Changes

41 comments:
 
There were many, many times this past year when I may have disturbed you, troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you, or got on your nerves with all the posts I've posted.

So today I just wanted to tell you...

Tough S**t!

There are no changes scheduled for 2009!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

December Top Droppers

7 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day. Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Link Love

No comments:
Ann from A Nice Place In The Sun has hooked me up with some Link Love. Thank you from the bottom of my heart Ann. You are just the greatest.

If you're on this list then add this post to your blog to give out your own Link Luv.

A Doctor...

36 comments:
A doctor, a dentist and an attorney were in a boat together when a wave came along and washed them all overboard. Unable to get back into the boat, they decided two would hold on to the boat and the third would swim to shore for help. They noticed that there were hundreds of sharks between them and land. Without a word the lawyer took off! As he swam the sharks move aside.