Sunday, May 31, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

2 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Sex and Love

17 comments:
At the retreat, Sam and Samantha were told to individually write a sentence using the words 'sex' and 'love'.

Samantha wrote, 'When two mature people are passionately and deeply in love with one another to a high degree and that they respect each other very much, just like Sam and I, it is spiritually and morally acceptable for them to engage in the act of physical sex with one another.'

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Female Logic

26 comments:
A woman is having lunch with a few of her friends one Sunday when she announces she has discovered a way to keep her husband from staying out late at night.

'Last night when I heard the front door open and my husband enter, I yelled down, 'Joe, is that you?'

Friday, May 29, 2009

Marital Bliss

30 comments:
One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife, 'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in 'Slim Fast'. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Happies

15 comments:
Mike of Rambling Stuff tagged me with the Six Unimportant Things That Make Me Happy. Thanks Mike this one was fun to do.

Here are the rules:

Name and link to the person who tagged you

List six things that are unimportant but that make you happy.

Three Virgins

30 comments:
A Mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but "Maxwell House".

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Friendship Award

7 comments:
Dawn of Twisted Sister and Wendy of Wendster's Blog gave me the Friendship Award. Thank you both from the bottom of my heart. Thank you both for your valued friendship too. Big hug!

Here's the rules:

Luigi's Honeymoon

25 comments:
Back in the glorious days of luxury train travel, Luigi and his new bride, Virginia, honeymooned in Florida by train. Upon his return, Luigi stopped by the Italian-American Club in his old neighborhood and all his friends wanted to hear the details about his trip.

Luigi said, “Ever’thing was’a perfect except for da train ride’a down. That train has’a too many rules!”

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Texas...

24 comments:
A big Texan took a job out of state. The company required him to have a physical before starting work. The Texan was in the waiting room when a beautiful woman called him in. The woman asked him to remove his clothes and put on a gown. The Texan complied, when he took off his shirt the woman exclaimed…

“My, you sure have big shoulders.”

Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial Day Tribute

25 comments:
The History Of Taps

The bugle call Taps had its origins on a battle field of the Civil War. After the Union suffered a large number of casualties in a battle near Richmond Virginia. Brigade Commander Colonel Daniel Butterfield reflected with sadness upon the men he had lost.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

No comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Unemployment Pay

18 comments:
Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they go to the unemployment office.

Asked his occupation, the first guy says, "Panty stitcher. I sew the elastic onto cotton panties."

The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gives him $300, a week's unemployment pay.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Practice

25 comments:
A young woman ran to her mother and said ecstatically, "Tim passed his bar exam, so we're going to get married next spring."

"Gee, honey," her mother replied, "he'll be real busy. Don't you think you two should wait till he's been practicing for a year or so?"

"Oh, Mom," the daughter said, blushing, "we've been practicing."

Friday, May 22, 2009

Kid Speak - Part 2

24 comments:
ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Kid Speak - Part 1

28 comments:
NUDITY

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked!

As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Storm

32 comments:
They were together in the house. Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump.

She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Retarded Meme

26 comments:
Katherine of Wading Through my Stream of Consciousness tagged me with the Retarded Meme. Thanks K.

I use this term often. I call myself a retard, because sometimes I am. I call others a retard, because sometimes they are. Let's face it...sometimes all of us are a retard. Politically correct term? No, but that hasn't stopped me. If the shoe fits, then wear the darned thing. So here goes!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Awww...Mondays

28 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

4 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Guido

22 comments:
A virile, young Italian gentleman named Guido was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blond woman.

Things progressed to the point where he invited her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude he asked with a smile, “So, you finish?”

Saturday, May 16, 2009

St. Peter

21 comments:
One day, a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer all die and go to Heaven.

St. Peter is there and was having a bad day since heaven was getting crowded. When they get to the gate, St. Peter informed them that there will be a test to get into Heaven: They each will have to answer a single question.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Golf or Sex

29 comments:
A golfer is in a competitive match with a friend, who is ahead by a couple of strokes. “Boy, I’d give anything to sink this putt,” the golfer mumbles to himself.

Just then, a stranger walks up beside him and whispers, “Would you be willing to give up one-fourth of your sex life?”

Thursday, May 14, 2009

What Want?

33 comments:
An Indian scouting party captures a cowboy and brings him back to their camp to meet the chief. The chief says to the cowboy, “You going die. But we sorry for you, so give you one wish a day for three days. At sundown third day, you die. What first wish?”

The cowboy says, “I want to see my horse.”

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Super Blog

16 comments:
Mike of Rambling Stuff has given me the Your Blog is Super award. Thanks a million Mike.

This is a new award and I love it.

I pass this cool award on to all of my regular visitors. Your blogs are all SUPER to me.

Rules Of Washington

22 comments:
If it's worth fighting for, it's worth fighting dirty for.

Don't lie, cheat or steal...unnecessarily.

There is always one more son of a bitch than you counted on.

An honest answer can get you into a lot of trouble.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Mechanic's Helpers

31 comments:
Against his better judgment, the auto garage hired three blondes when he was in need of a couple of mechanic's helpers. Taking great pains to be specific, he explained to the three that he wanted them to clean a car that was parked outside. He gave them two extension cords, the vacuum cleaner, a bucket, rags and the car keys.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Awww...Mondays

24 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

4 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Old People

29 comments:
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a gallon of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchases home.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

From Bad to Worse

23 comments:
A man walks into a bar and orders a double, obviously upset.

"What's the matter, buddy?" asks the bartender.

"It's a long story. I met this beautiful woman who invited me back home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and were just about to make love when her darned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the edge by my fingernails without any clothes on!"

Friday, May 8, 2009

Kawasaki

20 comments:
A businessman traveled to Japan to meet and play golf with a few Japanese business associates. Having nothing to do the night before his game, he decided to solicit the services of a prostitute. Later, when they were in the throes of passion, she suddenly screamed out “Kawasaki!”

Not knowing the translation, he figured it meant he was performing exceptionally well, and so he kept going.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

New Pfizer Drugs

26 comments:
With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society...

DIRECTRA -- a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The Cross-Dresser

19 comments:
The Story Game Conclusion!

It was spring again and the same old issue was rearing its ugly head. Why couldn't he just come to terms with the fact that she had been acquitted? Things happen for a reason. They could be together now. He had to trust her. He had to move forward and start this new journey his own way.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Cancun

40 comments:
Last night three bloggers got together for some conversation, laughs and some excellent Mexican food. Linda of Are We There Yet?? and Katherine of Wading Through My Stream of Consciousness... decided to meet again this year. Some of you may remember our first meeting last year. Well, Linda was attending a conference in Las Vegas and since it's so close to Stockton she thought she'd visit again. I know Katherine and I are very happy that she did. Katherine and Linda had some fun in Santa Cruz (read about that HERE) before heading back to Stockton for dinner.

The Koala Bear...

31 comments:
A koala bear and a hooker go back to her place and they get undressed. The koala bear goes down on the hooker for 3 hours straight. She has multiple orgasms!!! After 3 hours he stops, gets up and puts on his little koala clothes. The woman is hanging back huffing and puffing from exhaustion.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Awww...Mondays

39 comments:
Join us every Monday for Awww...Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww...and that's it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I'll visit your Awww...Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

This Week in Entrecard

5 comments:
This is a great big thank you for last weeks advertisers. For those that I honor each week/month I'm well aware of the dedication you show. In order to stay in the top of the heap you're dropping EC every single day.  Many of you have more than one blog and that's 300 drops per day per blog.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

The Story Game

24 comments:
It's time to play The Story Game again. I just want you to have something entertaining to do if you swing by for a visit this weekend while I'm off boating. So play nice. Okay?

Here's how it works. I'll start a story. You continue it in comments. Each commenter picks up where the last left off. Next week I'll give it an ending and post our story with the links to everyone who participated under the heading, "Contributing Authors". You can play as many times as you want and the game will run all weekend. Thanks for playing along.

Friday, May 1, 2009

It's Hell to be Old!

37 comments:
An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam.

The doctor gave the man a jar and said, *Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow.'*

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The Big Bang

1 comment:
*Start Copy Here*

You do not have to be tagged to play along. This game is simple and so are the rules.


Copy from *Start Copy Here* through *End Copy Here*

Add your site(s) to the list. Just be sure to post the "Big Bang" at each site you add.